We're both whooped puppies tonight! It was a long day, especially for Jeremy, but well worth it. The surgery went very well. We were Dr. Scarborough's first surgery of the day; there was no one ahead of us to cause unexpected delays. At precisely 8a.m., I kissed my husband goodbye and they wheeled him into the OR. An hour and 45 minutes later (barely long enough for me to return texts from faithful friends and prayer warriors), Dr. Scarborough emerged from the OR to tell me how well the surgery went.
Initially, because of the tumor's close proximity to the spine, he thought he may need to chip away some bone; but instead he was able to get clear margins just by removing the tumor and surrounding subcutaneous tissue and muscle fascia. Praise God for that! He explained that Jeremy will have a slight indentation on one side of his back, but no problem with function. We're more than happy to embrace such a war-wound.
Speaking of wounds, my poor husband is in a pretty significant amount of pain. Once the numbness from surgery wore off, his morphine pump wasn't quite enough; so he is now taking oxycodone as well. He hasn't been able to get out of bed (or wanted to) and he's of course irritable.
It's hard for me to watch him in pain, and even harder when he doesn't get immediate attention and help from someone who can do something about it. With this as our first teaching hospital experience, we appreciate the technological advancements, beautiful accommodations, and impressive specialized doctors. The only setback has been the student nurses. I'm all for giving nursing students a hands-on learning experience... Until it's my loved one as the patient. When our RN got backed up with patients near shift-change at the end of the day, our nursing student started coming in alone to "work" on Jeremy. Although wonderfully nice, and I'm sure very bright, she lacked confidence; therefore, so did we. She nervously whispered uncertain procedures to herself. When she told us what she was going to do and why (again with discomfort in her plan), she asked if that was okay. After deciding not to worry about hurting her feelings or ego over Jeremy's care, we expressed our discomfort with having a student treat him without the nurse present to watch and guide her. This was an uncomfortable moment for all of us, but necessary. She retrieved the RN and thank goodness, after much more I won't go into, a shift-change interrupted (and solved) the awkward moment. The night shift nurse replaced the student/teacher pair and we now have only experienced nurses until a new "school day" tomorrow. After the shift-change solved our "how to be respectful and sensitive to the student nurse dilemma", and Jeremy's pain was back under control, he finally fell asleep. I called my friend (also a doctor at Shands) and explained everything that had just happened. Overwhelmed, exhausted and embarrassed I hadn't been a better advocate for Jeremy, I cried. And wouldn't you know that friend left her family at 7:45pm, drove across town (to where she would be working early the next morning - no less) and sat with me in the hospital room. She assured me of my strength and ability to be Jeremy's advocate, related to my feelings of embarrassment and failure and refuted those feelings with encouragement through pointing out things I'd done well and very much "right" over this long day. She then helped me prepare my "bed" and left me feeling relaxed and confident in my ability to care for Jeremy during his recovery. How blessed I am to have such a friend. The most amazing realization I came to, is that I have a handful of other friends who would have done everything this friend did. And I have two families that would drop what they're doing at a moment's notice to come be with me and Jeremy to support and love us as only family can. When will I learn that God really does provide me with everything and everyone I need to get through battles, big and small? So, as another friend of mine has said, today's struggles were just one more battle under my belt. I can now look back at how God provided protection for Jeremy with a shift change at a time of need, a friend for encouragement, and family for support. Tomorrow is a new day. I pray that God will give Jeremy peaceful and comfortable rest, so he will wake up ready to get out of bed and ready to begin his walk down the road of recovery. The prize for today, is it is Jeremy's first day (of many, many more) cancer free! Amen! Thank you, Father God, for your faithfulness.
"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." Phil 3:12-14 The Message
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