Recently, I've been giving a lot of thought to my "story", more aptly put, my testimony. Everyone has a story... Even and especially those who think they don't. Before Jeremy was diagnosed with Liposarcoma, we both had a story. A great and powerful story that required God to explain. But, we weren't seeking our story; much less fulfilling it. Even still, God brings His plans to fruition and doesn't need us to complete His plan. However, he loves us so much that he clears a path before us and asks us to follow Him so we can see and do the most amazing things that would never be possible without him. So, God allowed a crisis to enter our "non-story" life. It was then our choice to run to Him and allow Him to shape us and our lives to look more like he'd planned them to be; or to run away from Him in fear and anger, allowing the enemy to steal our hope, joy, and testimony. (John 10:10)
Crises and trials don't make our story. Those are guarantees in this life and only make us just like everyone else here. (John 16:33 "... in this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.") Those "stories" of trials and tribulations are all the same, to a certain degree. But,the crisis that Jeremy and I faced with his diagnosis of Liposarcoma, turned us around, and caused us to answer God's call to turn our focus back to Him. And now our stories continue, despite the delay caused by our idling, wandering, and lack of remembrance that we are called for a greater purpose, than just this little life we thought we were creating for ourselves.
So, this blog, Seeing Through Sarcoma, I've explained before but need to reiterate: it's not about our life story of a cancer crisis. It's a story back on track... Seeing Through the crisis in our path that pushed us back to keeping our eyes on Christ.
I'm humbled in reading the old testament. I learned that God, in His anger over what His people were doing- turning their back on the God of their ancestors and worshipping false gods- would often speak through a prophet to foretell the destruction due to them and many times, follow up with the statement "And then you'll know I'm the one true God". I'm no different than the awful and seemingly stupid men I read about in the old testament, but I'm forgiven. And through Christ, I have a chance to live a testimony. My trials and crises are not my sentence or what sums up my life. They are what goaded me closer to Christ. My trials, are God saying, "I'm the one true God. I'm with you, even when everything around you falls apart. I will show you the way."
2 Corinthians 7:10-11 "Distress that drives us to God does that, it turns us around. It gets us back in the way of salvation. We never regret that kind of pain. But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets. And now, isn't it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God? You're more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible. Looked at from any angle, you've come out of this with purity of heart."
God's given me a story, and I know it's an amazing one. I want to live it out. Being more alive, concerned, responsible, sensitive, reverent and human. I'm going to accept what and who God puts in my life and pray that my life brings Him glory. I'm still failing. As much as I want to live this amazing story, I have setbacks, stumbles and complete failures. But I'm forgiven. Therefore, I'm allowing those barricades to turn me back to my forgiving Father and walk in His way.
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